Now I didn movieaccess't choose to be a librarian, it movieaccess's just one of those things that I fell into, like a ditch. What I really want to be is an movieaccess actress. Three nights a week I movieaccess go to acting class learning make believe. The power to emote all over someone and movieaccess have an effect on them movieaccess is what I love about it. Oh, and getting to movieaccess dress up.
My routine movieaccess is pretty similar every day: get up, skip breakfast, put my face on, catch the bus to work, skip lunch, go to class or return home and read a book while movieaccess eating something awfully good for me . I movieaccess don't movieaccess really socialise too much. I guess I fit the description 'painfully shy movieaccess' pretty well and I really do prefer movieaccess my own company movieaccess. If movieaccess ever I get a little lonely I have my cat and my movieaccess computer which I use for chatting to people I will never meet. I like the fact that I am nameless and faceless, it movieaccess gives me the chance to be totally honest. It's good therapy.
Or maybe I am just a bad actress?
and so I did.
The introduced himself as Nick. He asked me if I movieaccess would movieaccess like movieaccess a drink. I declined as I movieaccess always do, afraid that I might need to use movieaccess the movieaccess conveniences otherwise. He beckoned me into movieaccess a little room and apologised.
Tick tock tick tock
I lost all track of the space around me, but after a while I noticed that the metronome movieaccess was slowing. Its momentum eaten up by speaking to movieaccess me so softly. The arc of its swing was less and movieaccess less. It was synchronised with movieaccess both my breathing movieaccess and movieaccess my heartbeat.
'Yes go ahead'
I started movieaccess to read a little. It was the part of movieaccess Portia from 'Julius Ceasar'. As usual when I start movieaccess to read, I completely loose myself in the character. I movieaccess become image that movieaccess person. I am that person. I movieaccess try to put that across to whomever movieaccess is watching and in the course of doing this I kind of phase out . I had not been reading movieaccess for more than movieaccess a minute when movieaccess Nick stopped me.
I felt tears welling up. My movieaccess head became a thunderstorm. I felt sick. I turned to leave and ran for movieaccess the door without saying another word. I was in the hall way when I heard
I was back in the mirrored room.
'From now on you will not movieaccess speak unless movieaccess we tell image you movieaccess to, you will do exactly as we say and you will do it well'
'Now, we better get on with movieaccess your audition'
Nick pointed to an armchair movieaccess that the movieaccess silent man had positioned in front of the camera.
'SIT'
I rubbed my clitoris frantically movieaccess with movieaccess my right middle finger. My body was bucking like I movieaccess were horse riding.
And sit there I movieaccess did. My arms movieaccess went behind my back again and I lowered my head, trembling movieaccess. My legs stayed awkwardly movieaccess over the arms of the chair. As much as I did lower my head, the fact that the room movieaccess was basically a huge kaleidoscope made it movieaccess impossible for me not to see myself movieaccess. Everywhere I looked the movieaccess same image looked back. Who was that? It couldn't movieaccess be me. I lifted my head slightly: I movieaccess was slanted and enchanted by myself. I could not movieaccess turn my head away, drowning in image what I had become.
Make it movieaccess stop, please make it stop. Make movieaccess it image stop, please make it movieaccess stop.makeitstoppleasemakeitstopmakeit..
I felt my body begin to movieaccess move. It was as if my feet were glues to an movieaccess invisible tightrope as I started to walk in an movieaccess awkward fashion, one foot directly in front movieaccess of the other. This soon became second nature once I movieaccess had learned to swing my hips from side to movieaccess side.
'I want to tell you about movieaccess your latest roll image.....Your latest roll is to do whatever you are told whenever you are movieaccess told it. You movieaccess will movieaccess make films until our audience are tired of seeing your ugly face. You will be sold to the first person that requests you when this happens movieaccess. You will stay here movieaccess and we will feed you enough to keep movieaccess you healthy movieaccess. While we are recruiting you will look after us in whatever way we desire. When you are movieaccess not needed you will be kept in a little cage.'
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